Daydreaming at Night

As 2010 comes to a close, I'd like to share a trick that I have used for almost six months to get to sleep: daydreaming.

I have had insomnia most of my life, and for many years I have actually dreaded going to bed because of the "mind-chatter" that never seems to end as I listen to my husband drift off into a deep slumber.

Daydreaming (ironic, perhaps, becuase technically it isn't during the day..) has eased my insomnia this year AND has lead me closer to my true calling in life. It makes sense, really, as this time of day (er, night) happens to be one of the only times that I am actually alone with my thoughts. The only other time is on my way to work on the bus, and it is funny that I actually fall asleep all the way to work and home again .. Talk about irony. :)

SO, I suppose you could say that I am multi-tasking in the minutes leading up to my slumber. I am letting go of the to-do list and allowing my brain to focus on fun things like what it will be like to have my own yoga practice and should I eventually venture out into the world with a portable massage table or is that too dangerous. Stuff like that is so much more relaxing than the anxiety-ridden thoughts I used to have.

Tonight, I will plant the spring garden that won't be a possiblity for several months. It doesn't really matter .. all that matters is that I go to sleep happy - and as quickly as possible.

Peace.

Resolution and Achievement

"I don't do resolutions. I just try harder". These are the words I spoke this morning to my friend.


Trying a little harder - Isn't that really all we can expect of ourselves or of others? To me, trying harder is always seeking resolution. We never really arrive. So the idea of coming to concrete resolution seems more than just a little bit self-defeating. I try to think of it as simply trying harder at stuff that I've been working on for a while.


At the end of each year, as we all likely do, I take inventory of the year's events .. a milestone map, of sorts, of things that I accomplished or didn't accomplish.


The same, wise friend that I spoke with this morning also once told me that achievement is SO over-rated. At the end of the day (or month ... or year), it really doesn't matter to me what has been checked off of the constant, daily to-do lists.


What matters most to me at this time of year is whether or not I am closer to my true Self.. Whether or not I made someone’s day... Whether or not I'm living the life of my dreams..


I can honestly say that I have "achieved" more this year by not trying to achieve anything besides becoming more aligned with my purpose little by little. My life will never be the same, thanks to this shift in perspective about achievement.


Cheers to a New Year full constant resolution, daydreaming, and a different kind of achievement: achieve love in response to hate, achieve to be a little more kind, achieve grace in difficult situations.


I will try harder to do all of these things and more.


Peace.